I agree with GibsonPearl.

**Hugs and pets to you**

(((Tuffy)))

make sure to sleep. we underestimate how much that helps us cope. i tend to sleep worse when im going through crap, so i just make more time to do it. like last WE, i didnt get out of bed unless necessary, and it was absolutely rejuvenating.

but make sure not to over do that either. im also forcing myself to go out and spend time with people who make me laugh. because that helps, too.

exercise if you can. anything you can do will help you. i try to walk.

go out dancing. it releases so much, and helps me center.

definitely ask for support from your network of friends. if you dont have one, call out to your friends and build a network. i didnt do that until i was going through a rough time last year, when i realized how no one was there to help me through my pain. so i asked, and the friends who reached out - largely on tribe - are my bedrock today.

cry all you need to. and try to differentiate between what you can and cant control. can you seek counseling? just taking a step may give you a bigger sense of control. find out what you can do to protect your self at work. contact the police / your insurance to find out what your rights are, what you can and cannot do for the rear plate. i once contested a ticket with no hope of it getting anywhere. i not only won, but it serves to help my insurance fight a claim against a bus that hit my car. totally unexpected.

try to write down what is going well, what is positive. they stole your car? thank god you werent in it, and that you didnt get hurt. it matters. and there are ways to cure yeast infections - although i totally believe stress brings them on even more often. so take of you, k? and go easy on your self. it will, too, pass. ((((((tuffy)))))

Friends want to help you if you will let them.

Also, know we all go through these times, and you really aren't alone.

Coping is hard, i tend to eat cool ranch doritos. Smoking used to help, but yeah...... the cons outweigh the pros on that one.

Also-- Rescue Remedy! It actually does help ,and I am not one to usually say such things about products like that. But it really has, so there ya go. Calm me the heke down a time or two.

www.bachflower.com/

Hang in there, Tuffy. I'm sorry for all you are going through. :-(

Time is on your side, and with me, that is ultimately what it took. I had a lot come my way the past few years, actually, and it took major changes over a longer period of time to have the life I really want.

Your situation sounds more like way too much loss and stimulus, too. Sleep well, exercise hard, go for walks with friends, and be very aware of those things that nourish your senses, like the sound of laughter, a hug from a friend, the smell of spring, the taste of good food, etc.

Those help while you heal. Hugs...

Oops, my Grandfather was actually 85, it was another relative who died at 83. Just thought I should clarify that.... even though I probably didn't really need to. Oh well....

Everyone,

Thank you so much for your advice, words of wisdom, hugs and love. I wanted to update you all and let you know that I have read all of your posts several times over and it has helped a great deal.

The week I got back from New Orleans was the hardest. Everything hit me that week on top of decompressing from such I wonderful trip and I cried everyday. It wasnt such a bad thing though, I didnt hold it back I let it go as it came and I know that it helped. I wrote a lot to let the thoughts come out of my head. I had a lot of inner turmoil regarding Eric and our situation and on the outside I have been dealing with an increasingly difficult work situation and my friend who is suicidal. I just got back from Denver for my very bestest friends graduation which was hard for me. Partly because I was in CO for the first time and without Eric who had told me so much of his hometown. And partly because (and I know I am not old) I was one of the oldest of her friends. Going to the meat market bars and having beer spilled on me by slobbering assholes while they try and hit on me is NOT my idea of a good time. On top of that I got a call from my suicidal friend who had now outlined the way she was going to kill herself. I got on the horn and made a bunch of calls and got someone to her. It looks as though it was just more cry for attention but it freaked me out none the less. It was REALLY very hard to focus and enjoy myself after thar and truth be told I had to remove myself and have a little freakout. I pulled my other bestest friend aside and vented. It helped a litte. What helped the most was spending a few hours with Jessica the Grad on a rock overlooking a beautiful reservior up against the rockies. We talked about everything and in the end were just silent listening.

Aside from my sad friend and my work situation most of my anxiousness has come from my seperation from Eric. He was in Costa Rica for two weeks after our trip to New Orleans and I was working hard to A) keep everything under control and B) keep my insecurities from running away with me. It was hard. But I managed to get through it and last night I got to talk with him for the first time in 2 weeks. It calmed me down and helped to negate the pointless worries I had conjured in my head.

But I had a small epihane last night, I had been trying to get to NC for this weekend for Erics b-day. I couldnt find a ticket that wasnt ridiculously expensive and at times that i couldnt travel but I kept trying to think of ways. I could call in a favor from a friend at united. I could ask my uncle who had shit tons of miles for free. I could take out another credit card. Sillyness. All of a sudden it hit me. When was the last time Eric went out on a limb for me? When was the last time he did something, anything for me? And lastly he bailed on me for my birthday and didnt even get me a present. Why am I trying to kill myself for this man? Fuck it.

So instead of spending $500 or more on a stupid plane ticket. I am going to spend it on me. I am going to Lighting in a Bottle this weekend and I am doing it solo. I have a list of workshops and meditations I want to attend and I am excited to hopefully connect with some hoopers and hippies. I'm excited. I hope to calm and center myself.

So thats it. The moments of calm and peace are not so few and far between now and I am savoring them more then ever. Little by little. Day by day. I am really looking forward to this weekend now and I hope I can come back refreshed. Anyone else going to LIB? I would love to meet some of you.

*Big hugs and sloberry kisses*