Tribe.net. Local Connections Soooz: biker/priestess http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#e93bfc7d-2a08-4a4e-b590-d239aaae7fe5 2009-07-16T00:39:59Z 2009-07-16T00:39:59Z

I often hear the younger woman described as some form of pastry: twinkie, cupcake, cream puff

Soooz: biker/priestess 2009-07-16T00:39:59Z Go Ask Alice http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#5a373254-aaaa-4f3c-95ac-caf292e2fcff 2009-07-15T18:49:43Z 2009-07-15T18:49:43Z

I've heard "twink" or "twinkie" in the gay community primarily. Here the word I hear for older-man, younger-woman relationships is "chicken hawk."

Go Ask Alice 2009-07-15T18:49:43Z Soooz: biker/priestess http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#cf992c41-4ab6-46e2-86d8-f02f034e05d3 2009-06-29T17:46:29Z 2009-06-29T17:46:29Z

The crude term would be that you are his twinkie. This is usually the word applied to younger women with older men.

Soooz: biker/priestess 2009-06-29T17:46:29Z Elaine~ http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#129442cd-5ebd-49a1-9a79-39d1fd574fa1 2009-06-29T15:56:08Z 2009-06-29T15:56:08Z

OMG I am a cougar!

Elaine~ 2009-06-29T15:56:08Z S.C. Libertine http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#370ffb9c-5ce2-4716-bc1b-d45a86d21d95 2009-06-29T14:09:01Z 2009-06-29T14:09:01Z

It isn't the idea of the age difference, but the negative inferences that go with the word "cougar." For example, "A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. " Think Desperate Housewives of ___.

S.C. Libertine 2009-06-29T14:09:01Z Hannah http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#64340da4-72e8-404a-95dd-d04d48deaba7 2009-06-26T16:06:52Z 2009-06-26T16:06:52Z

HA!!!! Oh my.

Hannah 2009-06-26T16:06:52Z Munky http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#9ce9aaf0-0884-4a7d-99d0-ef37e5d864f8 2009-06-25T06:16:28Z 2009-06-25T06:16:28Z

A silverback.

Munky 2009-06-25T06:16:28Z P∑ñGuïñ http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#3f587647-db42-4956-a107-01f351869887 2009-06-25T00:36:09Z 2009-06-25T00:36:09Z

so....i should start dating 26yr olds....cool!!

P∑ñGuïñ 2009-06-25T00:36:09Z Hannah http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#a7a67b4c-d3df-4916-836b-910c3ab610dd 2009-06-24T18:25:35Z 2009-06-24T18:25:35Z

I'm 32 and my boyfriend is 42. Would that make me a Reverse Coug? What's the opposite of a Cougar anyway?

Hannah 2009-06-24T18:25:35Z Elaine~ http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#9fc4567c-fd42-4b3a-81cb-86a9b2f96822 2009-06-24T17:19:59Z 2009-06-24T17:19:59Z

does anyone know if the term applies to older lesbian women who prey on younger women? << Ligers.

Elaine~ 2009-06-24T17:19:59Z Go Ask Alice http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#2ab6afe1-0365-44b9-99b3-046b44c44094 2009-06-24T17:09:39Z 2009-06-24T17:09:39Z

PS, I was taught by urban legend that the "equation" to figure out if you are being a "cougar" or not is: Half of your age + 7 = the age of your lover (or higher) = cougar By this equation, I can start being a cougar NOW (at 27), but I still can't meet them in bars. :-)

Go Ask Alice 2009-06-24T17:09:39Z Go Ask Alice http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#29957d2e-8c37-4353-99a4-4e60170b79eb 2009-06-24T17:06:25Z 2009-06-24T17:06:25Z

I hear cougar as, "A woman at her sexual peak, engendering fear in weaker males and arousal in the ones ready to deal with a passionate Goddess."

Go Ask Alice 2009-06-24T17:06:25Z thriver http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#f88f05ba-f196-42fd-9811-743fee01c5e9 2009-06-22T03:19:00Z 2009-06-22T03:19:00Z

was she preyin' on some young lithe cub?

thriver 2009-06-22T03:19:00Z Heidi http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#b71384cb-0a86-4b4b-8474-c215174ee76c 2009-06-21T01:59:28Z 2009-06-21T01:59:28Z

On a linguistically related note: I live fairly remotely up in the hills, and today was 'fix some pipes up the hill' day. All done, I head for home, turn a corner and saw a mountain lion walk away from me into some bushes. Looked up, and there it was, turning and noiselessly moving away. Less than 10 minutes ago. A cougar. Breathtaking. Literally. So, at the moment, y'all can call me whatever you want. Cougar. Panther. That pansy-ass who's now sportin' a .375 and keeping a closer eye on the goats... I'm just happy to be here. Whoa.

Heidi 2009-06-21T01:59:28Z Smelly http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#a09b1bc5-6b51-4a84-8ad0-31262df69bfa 2009-06-20T17:07:39Z 2009-06-20T17:07:39Z

I can't stand either phrase also, I think they are both stupid. Matt, by BF is ten years younger than me and when someone actually tries to use the "cougar" to describe me, I always say, "Hell No, I am a Panther" and the only reason I don't get more heated with someone calling me that is my love for cats, especially black cats, hence the panther coming into play, so I just try to make a joke of it ;-)

Smelly 2009-06-20T17:07:39Z S.C. Libertine http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#0cb6de0d-40e1-4b56-bdcf-b161360fdf1e 2009-06-20T15:50:35Z 2009-06-20T15:50:35Z

I cannot stand either phrase.

S.C. Libertine 2009-06-20T15:50:35Z leslie http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#7716a3e3-6ddf-453f-872f-005c0dac646a 2009-06-20T15:27:20Z 2009-06-20T15:27:20Z

lol!

leslie 2009-06-20T15:27:20Z Dusty Nipples (Kim) http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#ace0e044-49d8-4b96-bdad-ddb66e7c62ae 2009-06-20T07:55:31Z 2009-06-20T07:55:31Z

I think that would be a... coug-her. Meow.

Dusty Nipples (Kim) 2009-06-20T07:55:31Z thriver http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#f4111e0f-6716-4c64-b25d-8d740354bdda 2009-06-19T06:20:58Z 2009-06-19T06:20:58Z

"yes, the term really does mean an older woman, not just a woman who's a few years older than her boyfriend. " does anyone know if the term applies to older lesbian women who prey on younger women? just wondering. we might as well bring the gender fuckery out of it's box...

thriver 2009-06-19T06:20:58Z Dusty Nipples (Kim) http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#901c094c-0afb-4a65-b421-7dd6412cc2e0 2009-06-18T02:38:50Z 2009-06-18T02:38:50Z

Oooh... that's one to keep close. If it doesn't apply, let it fly. I like it.

Dusty Nipples (Kim) 2009-06-18T02:38:50Z Rapunzel ♥ )*( http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#c75b74aa-0711-4d2a-9511-8dd7598af194 2009-06-17T21:04:54Z 2009-06-17T21:04:54Z

But!! When Im 35, and he's 27/28...it wont be enough of an age difference to be considered a cougar. *pouts* I wanna be a cougar now!! *stomps feet*

Rapunzel ♥ )*( 2009-06-17T21:04:54Z HunnyDu http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#6a1dade8-f678-423f-a161-30569c5f44d2 2009-06-17T20:13:40Z 2009-06-17T20:13:40Z

Someone gave me great advice the other day, " if it doesnt apply, let it fly" As in, if someone calls you something youre not, you know youre not that, so they arent talking to you, are they?

HunnyDu 2009-06-17T20:13:40Z Soooz: biker/priestess http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#e694212c-4336-44ca-8e03-f7f80147e13c 2009-06-17T19:58:54Z 2009-06-17T19:58:54Z

Well, I'll take Cougar, and run with it. I'm 46, was dating guys 7 years younger in my 30s, now they are 15-20 years younger occasionally. I love their energy, enthusiasm, and stamina. I stick to artsy types, so there's always something to talk about. I did a 4-month stint with a 42 year old earlier this year. What a bag of unresolved issues. It comes down to 3 things for me in a relationship, after the basic honesty: Communication, participation, and sex. I'll take it in the best package I can get it. And I offer an amazing ride. ;-)

Soooz: biker/priestess 2009-06-17T19:58:54Z leslie http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#20e0b3e6-2c2f-4696-9293-cf2c026ab857 2009-06-17T15:42:59Z 2009-06-17T15:42:59Z

hey dusty, you can send those younger guys on my way, ok? ;^) because many of them are plenty experienced, and very interesting people. they, too, shouldn't be just defined by their age, right? but thinking that young guys are into older women because they think they're easy or desperate is not really how it is, at least not in my 15 years of dating younger guys. yeah, maybe on myspace, but those dorks are hitting on young women too usually, just hoping for some response. my younger men like older women because they like being around me because i'm confident, experienced and don't push for the status quo. i'm not pushing for marriage and kids, and don't equate dating with dropping a lot of money on me. my younger men like older women for a lot of very good reasons. oh, and they tell me that we're generally better in bed, because we've gotten over our body concerns and know how to let go. yes, that's a big draw, which i can totally understand. but i also don't like when a guy just says he's into older women, or big curvy women, or women with dreads, or whatever superficial trigger they're responding to. i want to be *seen* not fetishized.

leslie 2009-06-17T15:42:59Z Mad http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#9ca4c69f-4f89-497d-83e2-e4d7458305ac 2009-06-17T03:36:17Z 2009-06-17T03:36:17Z

WORDS and the FEELINGS/ emotions they invoke. i control my reaction to others' words, to-not-take-it-personal, sense where that person is coming from to have them say that. My mom is a cougar. HAve I said that to her face, no-Just over the phone. But she sees herself as one. I am a puma. Why deny? It is Easier to embrace all that makes me who I am then to run away. Good and BAD. I choose to OWN what I am or not do it, no regrets just love. Now that person has to deal with me own their own. If we blend then what about it, if not-good bye/peace out. Words and how they make a person feel. Feelings are sensual, passionate, and quick. Words are said so freely, but come with heavy weight at moments. Causing ripples in our life line. How to deal with it comes up? Action must happen of some sort either way, a spilt. No need to waste time, life should be enjoyable regardless. Each to there own and see you on the FLIP SIDE YO> Read a great book, SEX IN HISTORY by Reay Tannahill ...

Mad 2009-06-17T03:36:17Z Suz http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#cd3412d1-1ce1-47d4-93c6-e5a95c0ed337 2009-06-16T22:47:24Z 2009-06-16T22:47:24Z

Spot-on, Dusty! It's the indiscriminate use of this term for any woman of a certain age who dates a man even one year her junior that is the problem. If people use it in a complimenting context, then hooray for acknowledging that "sexy" has no age limit, for men or women! It's who you are as a person that matters most. And for those who look down their noses when they use the term, it's rather irksome, but we can write them off as clueless and immature, eh? > '' < meow!

Suz 2009-06-16T22:47:24Z Dusty Nipples (Kim) http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#e03e5766-2024-4df5-87b5-5e99b0580344 2009-06-16T22:26:54Z 2009-06-16T22:26:54Z

I guess in thinking about it, what bugs me most is that the term is so aged based, and it tends to get used on any woman of a certain age, regardless if it's applicable or not. Personally, I have no interest in 'younger' men. I find men with less life experience than me to be somewhat of a turn off. Worldliness is hot, inexperience is just a chore. On the other hand, grandpa doesn't do it for me either... I much prefer men who are on par with me. So when someone calls me a 'cougar' it's evident they don't have a clue who I am, and are calling me that based solely on the fact that I'm in my 40's. It just makes me feel objectified, in the same way I feel objectified when some young guy on Myspace wants to 'hook up' because he prefers 'older women'... translation... "you must be easy cuz you're old and desperate and who you are as a person really isn't relevant". So it's not that I take the term seriously, it's just that I hear it more often than I'm comfortable with. If guys called women something else on a regular basis that I found insulting, I'd say something. But this one seems to be so socially acceptable that to find it insulting makes me appear hyper-sensitive. So I guess if they use it in my presence, I'll let it ride. But if they apply it to me? Perhaps a gentle reminder that a woman is not defined by her age might be in order. Then I'll ask him if he has an older brother, or uncle, or perhaps his dad is single... and pounce!

Dusty Nipples (Kim) 2009-06-16T22:26:54Z leslie http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#cca62503-690c-48d0-ad41-eb52c0b8e5d9 2009-06-16T21:35:42Z 2009-06-16T21:35:42Z

yes, the term really does mean an older woman, not just a woman who's a few years older than her boyfriend. but it's a stupid term anyway, so you use it any way you want. as long as you take it seriously enough to prey on him at every opportunity ;^) it's funny about the double standard for age. i married a guy 11 years older than me, i was 20 and he 31 when we met. no one ever seemed to think he was cradle-robbing. but when it's the other direction, suddenly it seems weird to people. i never could understand that.

leslie 2009-06-16T21:35:42Z HunnyDu http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#eb98d2a3-aeff-43e8-83a3-2243697fe54c 2009-06-16T20:24:33Z 2009-06-16T20:24:33Z

I think, technically, that to be considered a cougar, one must be over 35.

HunnyDu 2009-06-16T20:24:33Z Brody http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#18738e36-0135-4347-bbce-27b1c9b4a45d 2009-06-16T16:36:06Z 2009-06-16T16:36:06Z

>i like young men who already know what they're doing. Exactly. Apropos of nothing, I had a guy message me recently about something and say "I like to experiment"....I had to just tell him that good for him, but I'm not a chemistry set, and to go find some experience elsewhere and then maybe get back to me. Heh.

Brody 2009-06-16T16:36:06Z Rapunzel ♥ )*( http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#f8fefd62-b690-4de9-8f7f-cce3dacde98a 2009-06-16T03:05:03Z 2009-06-16T03:05:03Z

Im offended that you think Im not old enough to be a cougar though. lol. Im not "older"...but Im older than he is... I'll have to tell him about this conversation. He'll get a kick out of it. :)

Rapunzel ♥ )*( 2009-06-16T03:05:03Z Rapunzel ♥ )*( http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#cd00108b-998c-4967-9bef-fe636e9de6e4 2009-06-16T03:02:03Z 2009-06-16T03:02:03Z

I'll take puma! Its mostly just cute because he calls me that. But still. I dont think it would offend me ten years from now either.

Rapunzel ♥ )*( 2009-06-16T03:02:03Z Mad http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#eca692f2-6088-4d1e-b020-4c06e8aaec15 2009-06-16T02:45:54Z 2009-06-16T02:45:54Z

The correct term would be PUMA, cougar in training

Mad 2009-06-16T02:45:54Z Munky http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#7f682f97-ab38-4b6c-9738-8553f01d92a7 2009-06-16T02:34:54Z 2009-06-16T02:34:53Z

You're a cougar at 29? Oh come on, 7 yrs isn't enough for you to be considered that much older, and you're no 'older woman' at your age, you beastly thing. But if it makes you happy and you have fun with it, who cares! Enjoy!

Munky 2009-06-16T02:34:53Z Munky http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#0344d1a0-ef14-4ead-8445-91b67e84daed 2009-06-16T02:33:38Z 2009-06-16T02:33:38Z

Leslie, me too!!!! I hate the term 'cougar' and I have stated that I AM NOT MRS. ROBINSON more times than I can count. If he's gonna be physical with me, he already better have the education well in hand, because I'm not going to waste my time teaching. As a mature woman I want a damned good lover or I can handle my own needs just fine. Having said that, I saw some phucking HOT young men at Pride yesterday. OMG It was so visually stimulating.

Munky 2009-06-16T02:33:38Z Rapunzel ♥ )*( http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#5ab415ca-d734-4917-8752-b8a8479c0a6e 2009-06-16T01:53:20Z 2009-06-16T01:53:20Z

LOL. I just read my comment and looked at my icon. How appropriate. Meow.

Rapunzel ♥ )*( 2009-06-16T01:53:20Z Rapunzel ♥ )*( http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#76fb2d7b-276f-4ff0-8b21-5330d8acb462 2009-06-16T01:52:19Z 2009-06-16T01:52:19Z

Im a cougar and I like it. My boyfriend calls me that. Im 29 and he just turned 22. I hunted him and conquered. He knows it ;) Not offended in the least. I rather take it as a compliment.

Rapunzel ♥ )*( 2009-06-16T01:52:19Z thriver http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#4b2a21b0-d565-4802-84e7-5c3436796cc3 2009-06-15T03:24:09Z 2009-06-15T03:24:09Z

the cougar is known for it's sleek, stealth, and ambush predatory nature. this large cat will eat any animal it catches. graceful and powerful. i suppose some women feel uber sexy being associated with such a prowess beast. i think tv shows and the media have given the word "cougar" a tainted image. case in point: http://www.urbancougar.com/ today's new is cub stud - a cougar's "catch". hilarious!

thriver 2009-06-15T03:24:09Z Megan http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#f104b12e-c2f5-4c1c-934b-b5f4d7a2abce 2009-06-15T02:45:18Z 2009-06-15T02:45:18Z

i guess it all depends on how you take it......take it as a compliment or an insult.......they're just trying to say you're hot and you're not 23 anymore....but yer still hot

Megan 2009-06-15T02:45:18Z LyingBare http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#a268dee7-d414-4465-a0e6-d27810a99602 2009-06-14T22:16:13Z 2009-06-14T22:16:13Z

YES! Leslie always says it so eloquently, exactly MY sentiments, I don't give lessons, they beter already know, and if a bit of instruction is warranted well, that'sok, but they better already have the basics, goes for the women in my life as well... Mwahhh! lovely lady. hope life is wonderful inthose green lush hills.. Bare

LyingBare 2009-06-14T22:16:13Z leslie http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#082fd6fd-96a1-45e6-816a-1188e5506ae3 2009-06-14T22:09:26Z 2009-06-14T22:09:26Z

as a woman who hasn't dated a guy even remotely near my age since i was divorced 16 years ago, when milf came into the culture, i thought it was silly, yet flattering because it was a term that referred to the guy's desires. i read an article a few years ago by the woman who coined the term "cougar" -- she was an aging, mainstream new york society type who was after young hot male models... she was indeed a predatory animal, sort of like a female hugh hefner type, collecting hot young men as arm candy, not seeking real relationships. i am not a predator, thank you very much. in fact, i very rarely will make the first move with a younger man, because any guy who's going to be a match for me better have the balls to say so. i'm not coming after him. so when someone refers to me as a cougar, they generally get a little education. i'm also not a mrs. robinson. i like young men who already know what they're doing.

leslie 2009-06-14T22:09:26Z LyingBare http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#5a831b2f-ad31-44f5-a0b7-949fb7f895ff 2009-06-13T03:10:11Z 2009-06-13T03:10:11Z

Ohhhh I Love that word, CUNT!, the book was excellent, I highly recommend it. I think the author is Inga Musial,

LyingBare 2009-06-13T03:10:11Z Gigi-D (DogBite) http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#4b7fb8be-434a-479a-b1bf-2bcc5f44315d 2009-06-13T02:44:36Z 2009-06-13T02:44:36Z

Meh... words are this funny thing. I remember a friend jokingly calling me a cougar at first I didn't like it... but the more I thought about it was kinda funny. It conjures thoughts of the graduate and Mrs. Robinson and it validates that older women or women of any age can still have "it" if they just embrace the deep sexiness that knowing what your doing. So I suppose I can see both sides... but I am the one who tells people when they call me Bitch ... "that's cunt to you".... always shuts people up due to there own misconceptions.

Gigi-D (DogBite) 2009-06-13T02:44:36Z Belinda http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#b463fd0c-6d39-4adc-95f0-164324387de7 2009-06-13T00:17:21Z 2009-06-13T00:17:21Z

I don't really think it is any different then Tiger really. What's the difference between a tiger and cougar? Go get em tiger, or she's a tiger in the bed. It's a sexy cat. Not fond of name calling at all really lol, even if it is a tiger or cougar. Why can't I just be a sexy woman, but just as far as the meaning and lingo goes...yeah I dunno.

Belinda 2009-06-13T00:17:21Z Anne http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#88e6e1c8-ff64-4128-aa51-5490040ab426 2009-06-12T20:23:35Z 2009-06-12T20:23:35Z

To use a term almost as overused as "cougar"... meh. On one hand, the implication is that this woman is predatory, which is unflattering to both the woman AND her younger lover. Really, is he just lower on the food chain? On the other, I agree that these terms are just silly media characterizations, and I don't take them personally - even though I usually date men that are younger than me.

Anne 2009-06-12T20:23:35Z Elaine~ http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#21af07ed-64fa-41fd-b34b-3d60cb11ff3c 2009-06-12T20:17:10Z 2009-06-12T20:17:10Z

I dont mind the word in context. Besides, a cougar is a highly evolved skilled adaptable hunter, what's not to like?

Elaine~ 2009-06-12T20:17:10Z Miss Molli http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#e90d4310-ce66-4595-bf2c-e03294c3d1dc 2009-06-12T20:06:03Z 2009-06-12T20:06:03Z

I'm with Neon!

Miss Molli 2009-06-12T20:06:03Z dr.placebo http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#92988163-8a44-49d4-b7d6-0253d010e110 2009-06-12T20:00:38Z 2009-06-12T20:00:38Z

I get the impression that both terms are media driven. Whether the words are actually derogatory depends on context. For what it's worth, my wife is older than I am, and she's a mother, but I call her "sweetie."

dr.placebo 2009-06-12T20:00:38Z Brody http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#d3f2d048-5527-4c84-bf8a-8955a353598e 2009-06-12T16:59:57Z 2009-06-12T16:59:57Z

I think it's kind of hilarious, but then again I have a long history of laughing at other things that people take very seriously. People deride/judge what they don't understand, or what threatens them. Words only have as much power as you give them.

Brody 2009-06-12T16:59:57Z HunnyBear http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#577c492b-1506-4065-aae7-0ce686fbe9f3 2009-06-12T15:58:39Z 2009-06-12T15:58:39Z

oh, and a year or so ago when I was up on a dating site I got an email from someone 3 or 4 years younger than me, calling me a cougar. um what? i'm 32. needless to say i just deleted that one.

HunnyBear 2009-06-12T15:58:39Z HunnyBear http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#437977c5-f651-4286-88fd-fdc685b1ffe3 2009-06-12T15:56:50Z 2009-06-12T15:56:50Z

I don't care for it. if someone chooses to use it for themself, ok, but I don't think it's flattering. I had the pleasure of hearing a coworker call another a cougar. he explained that she used it first. and this was the week that we were all doing sexual harassment training. Some people never will get it. Whether it's ok to joke with her or not about it, it's NOT ok to do that at work. ugh.

HunnyBear 2009-06-12T15:56:50Z Neon http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#44ebbf83-5582-4dd7-b2ec-c4a2634fe4f8 2009-06-12T15:33:43Z 2009-06-12T15:33:43Z

Yuck...I don't like the term... But I LOVE the concept ;-)

Neon 2009-06-12T15:33:43Z Dusty Nipples (Kim) http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#27ee3ba6-cdd0-44cf-975b-7cbfc15c2f9f 2009-06-12T15:27:53Z 2009-06-12T15:27:53Z

A cougar is a hot older woman who dates younger men. Most men seem to think that calling a woman a cougar is a compliment. There are a lot of women who refer to themselves as cougars too. I'm wondering how the women here feel about it, and wondering if my sensitivity to the term is an overreaction.

Dusty Nipples (Kim) 2009-06-12T15:27:53Z Brigit http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#944f614e-dca7-4688-9f68-b21844e894b6 2009-06-12T15:03:26Z 2009-06-12T15:03:26Z

I've never actually heard it used. HOW is it used? I've long held that men are weird in their insistence on giving EVERYTHING sexual or female a nickname. I'm sure this is just another one of them.

Brigit 2009-06-12T15:03:26Z Munky http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#bd8ba70b-f52b-4f12-83a6-f9fa323a2bbe 2009-06-12T09:37:52Z 2009-06-12T09:35:57Z

I don't like it. I am who I am. i went to burning man last year and had a lot of young men hit on me. I don't consider myself some old cat. I'm just me. You know?

Munky 2009-06-12T09:35:57Z LyingBare http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#c2b6dd1e-9e7a-4a9a-9edf-512f4d63e53d 2009-06-12T06:23:22Z 2009-06-12T06:23:22Z

Like a child molesting sex starved piece of meat with no identity, but thats just MY opinion, wonder why it is that an OLD guy with a YOUNG woman is thought to be a stud, but an Older woman with a younger man is called unflattering names. and OH! how I wish I could make this non gender specific but thats an entirely other conversation. I have decided I don;t care what they call me, it's their issue not mine and I dont have to take it on. perhaps THEY are just envious. Justification. perhaps.

LyingBare 2009-06-12T06:23:22Z Dusty Nipples (Kim) http://burningwoman.tribe.net/thread/783841a8-d0d0-4169-94de-0cf76e2f0a95#933cbb25-b32e-435e-aba6-5479fb9fcce2 2009-06-12T06:08:13Z 2009-06-12T06:05:59Z

I had a rather heated discussion tonite with friends about terms like 'cougar' and 'milf'... and my opinion didn't seem to be the popular opinion. So, I'm biting my tongue for the moment. And I'm posing the question here... When you hear a woman referred to as a 'cougar'... how does that make you feel?

Dusty Nipples (Kim) 2009-06-12T06:05:59Z