that is really good advice. guy #2 is bringing his art car and will be doing the taxi thing most nights. he wants me to be with him, which I have mixed feelings about - I don't really do the arm candy thing too well, but it seems important to him. I love the notion of compelling them to share the responsibility for figuring this out. thanks.

allow me to chime in from the male-poly perspective

I agree wholeheartedly with the "plan some time with them and leave the rest for you",,,one set day or night ...maybe two with artcarguy...that you know for sure you will hang...other than that...enjoy the playa...(this way if you DO end up hanging more than one day with either of them you will do so freely as opposed to some sense of obligation)

I've had years where I had to make a spreadsheet to keep track of all the dates I had scheduled...that was just silly...and half of them changed anyway...nothing quite like standing at the man all dressed up on a monday night being stood up cuz the person you were meeting was stuck in a med-tent dehydrated from working on art all day...makes you really sit back and take a good long look at the man...

anyway...my other two cents would be to give BOTH of them ONE free pass,,, A free pass is a way for them to be able to get their needs met at least ONE time during the week even if it trumps what you have going on with you...this is a nice balance to having the rest of your time free to yourself...and it is interesting to see how, when, why and even IF your partner/lover/playmate deploys their free pass...
You sent the meaning of the pass and what they get when they deploy it (ie you get my attention for an hour uninterrupted)

lastly...if you might want some "new friends" be them lovers or just a cool new pal you want to get all groovy and intense with in a non-physical fashion...might I suggest making some Pre-Established guidelines/rules for both your boys so that they know how you would like them to be when and if they encounter you with someone else either in camp or out in the city...that way if you DO end up back in your tent with some new tasty friend...you can just hang the pink hanky on the tent zipper so that the boys know not to come knocking or whatever you devise (heck your rules might be "if the hanky's on the zipper COME ON IN and JOIN US) - point being..whatever you want to have happen ...helps to set that up in advance rather then deal with it in the moment...most boys behave better when they know the rules
and can employ them to help save face as opposed to just reacting however they feel in the moment and then finding out later it was the wrong way to be...

have fun and kudoz to you for being so conscious and considerate to work it out in advance

sigh... ok maybe I spoke too soon.... looks like she is considering going

Letting it all unfold once youre there is probably the only thing to do, tho there are some great suggestions here. Be prepared for any feelings to arise and be accepting of them.

I met someone pre BMan in 06 and we liked eachother and arranged a few Playa dates. He was super cool and very inexperienced, so I wanted him to be free as possible (and Im married anyway, he knew that) I also had a friend showing up on Thurs. that wasnt a lover, but a future close friend from my music circle. Its all so confusing, but the cool guy I met for a date we had a great first couple dates in the beginning of the week at BMan, but he was so meticulous about his scheduling with his dates with me and other women that it was a turn off. It was like he kept a little book and marked off when he was gonna hang out with each girl. Altho this guy TOTALLY deserved it (late bloomer, go get em boy! :) it just felt forced to me, and the seductive romantic part of the journey I love so much was dust in the wind.
When my music friend arrived on Thurs, although he was awkward and unsure of his feelings, our connection was deep, and I preferred spending time with him in the unknown than to get guarunteed sex and dates from the Nice Cool Schedule Guy. The Schedule guy came to me at camp and wanted to mark me down for the Burn, and I said I wasnt interested anymore. I didnt put pressure on my Music friend, just told him that I would rather spend QUALITY time with him.
Here it is years alter and my Music Friend is one of my best ever. We do all kinds of stuff together. I kinda lost touch with Schedule Guy right away. Sometimes you can only know whats RIGHT when the moment comes, thats the point of me telling this story.